Unfortunately, my parents were not exactly the best role models. How do I learn to be a better parent?

“We cannot give what we don’t have,” is such a common statement that describes that we are only able to enjoy for ourselves and give to others to enjoy what we have previously been given. And in order to have something good to give, we must first work on and grow it. 

This principle can be applied to numerous things in life including parenting. More and more parents today are searching for ways to improve their children’s future by investing in good parenting. A 2015 study of 2200 parents of children below 5 years old showed that 87% of parents want to become better parents. 

The benefits of healthy parenting 

• Children reared by parents who supported, monitored and disciplined them had better performance in school, experienced fewer behavioral problems and reported better mental wellbeing.
• Providing teenagers with a supportive home environment had a positive influence on their brain’s structural development. 
• Adults who experienced positive parenting enjoyed long-term benefits including a higher chance of a happy and healthy adulthood from better social connections, and mental well being during adulthood.

Equipping parents with healthy parenting skills

1. Consider the benefits of parenting education programs.

• They can improve parents’ knowledge and attitude about parenting, self esteem and feelings of parental success.
• They equip the parents with positive parenting practices and nurturing behaviors.
• They increase parents’ knowledge on communication styles, use of positive language, and effective discipline
• They give parents opportunities to develop social networks with other parents where they can give and get parental advice and emotional support.
• Learned parenting techniques improve children’s behaviors and their relationship with their parents.
• They improve a parents’ mental wellbeing.
• Learning new perspectives on discipline provides parents with alternatives to corporal punishment. 

2. Pursue books that share parenting techniques.

Lots of books are grounded on science and include practical ways parents can parent with fulfillment. 

Parenting might feel complicated many a time, but having a guide through leading parenting specialists can remind you of the most important things in your parenting journey: connection, understanding. 

3. Learn from online resources that offer parenting advice. 

Science-backed guidance from online resources help parents learn and become more confident in their everyday responsibilities. 

The American Psychology Association has released a list of websites offering evidence-based parenting tips.

In an increasingly hectic world, we may forget the power of play and its role in children’s lives. One study that supports the benefits of play on children’s brain development showed that when children and  parents or peers engage in play that is appropriate to the developmental level of the children, the young ones improve their emotional, mental, social and self-regulation skills. Play has a positive influence in their brain development, allowing them to process information and it regulates stress. 

Consulting with therapists or counselors is also important in helping parents identify possible issues and in teaching parents skills to care for their children. 

Parenting is a tough challenge, but your involvement and love along the way will be something good that your children will thank you for as they grow into the healthy adults you have prepared them to be. 

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