I Started Having Sex With a Married Colleague, Then He Cheated On Me With My Best Friend. What Should I Do?

Dealing with infidelity and betrayal can be extremely challenging. Although, it is fair to remember that he started as a cheater and you followed through with his character. It was quite possible that he would continue to cheat with others, or go back to his wife and not have an affair with you anymore. While it does not hurt any less; here are a few suggestions on how to navigate this situation:

Take time for self-reflection. It is important to process your emotions and understand how this situation has affected you. Give yourself the space to heal and gain clarity on your feelings. Make sure you do what you need to do to heal. Although, the affair was unethical; it still hurts for someone you like to cheat on you with a best friend. The betrayal that does come from that if your friend was aware of your affair can provide extreme distrust and pain. 

Also consider how all other parties in this situation feel. When you first began your affair with him, you were hurting the wife whether she knew or not. Just as your friend did to you. The way you feel about the wife is how your friend feels about you. Although she also has to learn that she impacted relationships and connections.

Seek support for yourself. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist who can provide a listening ear and offer guidance. Talking about your feelings and receiving support can help you cope with the pain and confusion.

Set boundaries that are clear and definite. Consider establishing clear boundaries with both your married colleague and your best friend. Assess whether you want to maintain any form of relationship with them and communicate your expectations accordingly to have appropriate relationships with them.

Prioritize your well-being. Focus on self-care and prioritize your physical and emotional well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy, practice mindfulness, and take care of your health. This will help you regain your strength and resilience.

Consider professional advice if you are having a hard time getting over it or are a chronic cheater. In some cases, seeking legal or professional advice may be necessary, especially if there are workplace or personal consequences that need to be addressed. Consult with a lawyer or human resources professional if appropriate.

Forgive and let go if you all can. Forgiveness is a personal choice and can take time. Holding onto anger and resentment can hinder your own healing process. However, forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciling or forgetting what happened. Focus on your own growth and moving forward.

Find people that are not associated with anything personal like work or where you live. That way you do not have to deal with them if something goes poorly like this did.  If you do, do not get into a situation with a married person. It is a horrible thing to do. The person that is cheating will likely cheat on you or the two of you will get caught. It is better to avoid that confrontation at all costs.

Remember, everyone's situation is unique, and these suggestions may not apply to every circumstance. Ultimately, trust your instincts and do what feels right for you. Make sure your relationships are appropriate. Also make sure you consider how you and others may feel.

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