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I was divorced 3 times and I found out that I am asexual. What is that mean? I have no sexdrive.
They may feel attracted to other people but some people will only find out that they are asexual after having sex one or two times more.
Though this may seem like some type of a mental disorder as it was once considered before,
being asexual is not caused by any external factors such as abuse or childhood trauma. In fact,
this has been categorized as an 'orientation' or an added variation to human sexuality in
psychology. Even the LGBTQIA+ has recently added asexuality as a new identity to their
As this orientation is neither due to external factors nor internal ones like hormonal or genetics,
it is safe to conform with the conclusion of research that asexuality is natural. That means you
are not asexual by choice. You don't choose to have low to no sexual attraction at all. It is
inborn and the best you can do, is accept it.
Hold up. Being asexual is not a sentence for death. You can still be happily married even if you
are in this spectrum. But you must take note that lack of sex in a relationship might exhaust the
other party, especially if they are Allosexual or in need of sex. This might cause a rift in the
marriage, just like what happened to a man with asexuality whose marriage ended after he told
her wife that he can't change himself and by his own words, is powerless to change what he is.
Though it may seem tragic to have marriages end in divorce just because of asexuality, consider
it a liberation from the pressure to engage in the act you are not fond of. The man in the
abovementioned would rather respect himself for what he is even at the expense of his
relationship than be forced into wanting something he didn't desire.
But for those who want to stay in a relationship despite having this orientation, you can always
have communication with your significant other. After all, being asexual does not disable you to
feel romantic attraction.
Many people with this case can swear they can love, have crushes or even feel extreme
attraction to other people. The only delapidating truth about them is they can be romantic but
they don't feel like acting on it through sexual intercourse. So be sure to compromise in a
relationship. Go on therapy together to better understand the orientation, and deal with it
through discussion. Find a common ground where both can feel happy, loved, respected, and
most of all, accepted.