Would you consider dating someone with a mental health condition? What are things to know before doing so?

Can people with mental health problems enjoy loving relationships? Yes! Are there challenges that make dating someone with mental health issues difficult? Also yes. But there are many factors at play that can help you and the person you are dating decide if going into a romantic relationship with one another is the best for you both. 

Defining mental health issues

A survey in the UK said that almost 6 in 10 people would not consider dating someone with a mental health problem. It was received by the public negatively because they said that it showed how mental health is still stigmatized, and not dating someone mentally ill because of their condition was a form of discrimination. 

But I think before we make a judgment, we must take a closer look at what mental illness is. 

Mental Illnesses are categorized based on how they affect a person’s ability to deal with stress, relate with other people, how they process their emotions, and how they behave. 

There are illnesses that can be considered minor psychological disorders, some of which include generalized anxiety disorders, minor depression, and panic attacks. 

Personality disorders, meanwhile, are a group of mental illnesses that create disability in a person’s social skills if it reaches a high level of severity. 

Psychotic disorders, on the other hand, mostly require both medication and hospitalization if not managed by appropriate  treatment. 

There are many misconceptions surrounding mental illness, so educating yourself about mental illness can help you set realistic expectations, and be helpful and supportive when they go through rough times. 

Having this in mind helps us to see the person as a whole human, and not define them by their mental illness alone. 

So going back to the question, should you date someone with a mental illness? 

There is no simple answer. While you are not putting a stigma on dating someone with mental illness, you also need to know more about the situation and learn to take care of yourself before pursuing a more serious romantic relationship. 

Here are some considerations: 

1. Were they upfront with you about their mental illness, making you aware of it when you were getting to know one another better on your dates? Their honesty about their diagnosis, and what they are doing about it are good signs that they may be in control of their condition. 

2. How severe is mental illness? Is it stable now and does the person you are dating have their mental illness under control? Since there are treatments for mental illnesses, and the person you are dating has learned to manage its negative consequences on their life through getting appropriate treatment, they should not be defined by their illness and they are just as ready to enter into a romantic relationship just as everybody else. 

3. Is the person you are dating in the middle of controlling their symptoms, but is not stable yet? In this case, they might be in a stage in life where their efforts are needed to seek help, get the right treatment and pursue healing. 

Especially at the height of symptoms of a more serious mental illness diagnosis, the person might be more prone to engaging in unhealthy or harmful behavior that could possibly lead to a lot of stress to the person they are dating. This might not be the best time to enter into a more serious romantic relationship with them. 

4. Is the person you are dating not yet seeking treatment for a serious mental health issue and they are not ready to get things under control? This is similar to the effects of #3, but much worse. Dating someone with uncontrolled symptoms of a serious mental health issue will not only be harmful to the person, but to you. Trying to help them when they are not ready for it might lead you to the most exhausting point of your life! 

So, you see there is no simple answer to the question whether you should date a person with mental health issues. Do not dismiss them quickly once they open up about their struggles during your date, but you need to be guided when you are in this situation, so that you can make healthy decisions to proceed in a romantic relationship with them or not.

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