I Think My Husband Is Having A Midlife Crisis. He Just Bought A New Mustang Convertible. How Can I Be So Sure? What Are The Signs? What Should I Do?

A midlife crisis involves a change of identity that happens mostly between the ages of 40-60 years old. At this stage, people reevaluate their choices in life. They tend to question who they are as a person, who they are with, what they are doing in life, whether they are too old now to do something new, and the list goes on.

And yes, what your husband did is one of the signs of a midlife crisis. More often than not, having a midlife crisis involves the desire of becoming young again. Don’t worry. This does not need to be a negative thing; you can turn this into a positive redirection.

But before that, let’s confirm whether your husband is indeed, in a midlife crisis. According to the American Psychological Association, here

are some signs of a person in a midlife crisis:

• No personal hygiene

• Great change in sleeping patterns

• Sudden weight gain or loss

• Mood changes

• Withdrawal from routines or relationships

Impulsive actions are also a sign of a midlife crisis. Your husband may have this desire of becoming young again and he felt the need to have a convertible Mustang in order to feel young again. Before getting too judgy, you need to talk to him first. It is a possibility that he has been planning to buy this car for a long time now. If this is an impulsive decision, then he is definitely in a midlife crisis.

As his wife, you have a huge role as his emotional support. Yes, I know you may be busy enough as it is handling whatever`s on your plate but helping your husband is not going to take much from you. Here are some things you can do as her wife:

Keep in mind that a midlife crisis is not an anomaly.

Before you talk to your husband and listen to whatever he says. You have to keep in mind that having a midlife crisis is completely normal. It is something that you may have to experience, too. Keeping this in mind will help you empathize to your husband ore and will lead to healthier discussions rather than arguments.

Listen.

During dinner, preferably without your kids, talk to him about this new car. Ask him about the reason why he bought it. Your role here is simply to listen. I know you might be mad because this purchase might have taken a financial toll on the family but lashing out will only drive him away from you.

Offer support.

If he wants to do new stuff, support him. You have to be his companion in pursuing things. Never criticize because his mental health is already at a standstill figuring things out at this age.

Seek help.

Some people who are experiencing these symptoms are actually depressed. Once you listen to him and it becomes apparent that there is no particular reason for the change of behavior that he even feels suicidal, then it`s time to seek help from a professional. There is nothing that you can do to cure your husband but encourage him to go to those sessions and constantly support him.

Get couples counseling.

It`s not going to be a walk in the park for you, too. It`s highly recommended that both of you go to couple`s therapy so the both of you can understand and empathize with each other. Your arguments and fights will lessen.

Have a solid support system, as well.

Supporting someone emotionally can take a toll on you. Have a solid support group that you can vent to. Your husband is not emotionally available at the moment. Having your close friends come over from time to time is really a big help for you.

Walk in the same direction.

I meant this in a figurative way, okay? This midlife crisis in your husband`s life will pass, too. Once this storm calms and he has already figured out what he really wants to happen in his life, join in planning the future for the two of you or your whole family.

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