Can a Therapist Find love? The Dating Life of a Therapist.

“Because when you spend so much time just intensely wanting something, and then you actually get the thing? It's magic.”- Becky Albertalli, The Upside of Unrequited

Being able to find the right person to love and becoming the right person for the other feels like magic. That’s what people who have loved say. 

But the process of finding love and being loved is not a bed of roses kind of thing. It is a mixture of hopes, difficulties, joys, and challenges to overcome.

 In recent years, there has been a 30% increase in the number of Americans who see therapists and mental health professionals for a variety of concerns, and the success rate of these people learning to cope, and show improvement in processing of their emotions among others is high!  

Then, if these professionals are able to help people learn communication skills, strategies to build resilience, and assist couples in establishing healthier patterns and habits that improve their relationship, would it be safe to say that therapists have higher chances of finding a long-term romantic partner compared to the general population?

After all, when to talk to our therapist about love issues, they seem to know the intricacies of what makes relationships work. They must be 10:10 in finding the right one! 

Therapists are people, too. 

But upon reading about the personal insights of therapists and mental health professionals about this topic, it seems that they also face similar challenges in love like everybody else. As humans, they have their biases, strengths, weaknesses, influenced by their upbringing, and personality. 

Therapists do not have all areas in their life worked through- just like us. They surely appreciate and practice ways to take care of their mental health because of their training and knowledge, but being in a romantic relationship and becoming successful in making it a happy one is one area of work that requires the effort of two people- and success will not be because one of them is a therapist. 

If this is the case, then how can therapists take care of their own dating life and find love? 

• Take care of yourself first. Work as a therapist is a rewarding career, but dealing with people’s struggles takes a toll on a therapist’s own health and wellbeing if not taken care of. In fact, studies show that there is a high rate of burnout among mental health professionals due to compassion fatigue, exposure to trauma and heavy workload. 

Not only will this affect your career as a therapist but your personal wellbeing including your own romantic relationship. 

• Have boundaries between career and personal life. Interestingly, therapists are advised to have their own therapy sessions in order to avoid disengagement from work and even recovery. In addition, you have to create boundaries between work and your own life, so that you are still emotionally healthy and energetic and have time to spend finding love. 

• Get yourself out there, but don’t pressure yourself to know everything about relationships. When dating, you might encounter the misconception your date has- that therapists are always perfect in handling their emotions, or dealing with other people’s issues. 

It would be a struggle, but opening this topic to your date might make them see that you are a work in progress, too! This sounds like a great topic to get to know one another too! 

• Use your skills as a therapist to move your relationship to the next level. You, as a therapist, are skilled in many foundational skills in communication, so don’t be afraid to use your skills in encouraging vulnerability, empathy, and understanding of personalities to have the best conversations on dates! 

Having a boundary between your romantic life and your work, using your conversation skills, and taking care of yourself while you are in the dating scene can increase your chances of finding the right one. 

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