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My 5-Year Old Child Won't Listen To Me. What Can I Do?
A preschooler in the house! Starting when they were 4, you might notice that they have become more imaginative, more playful, and so much better at expressing themselves! You get to see their personality blossom right before your eyes!
Now that the child is 5 years old, you are excited to prepare them for school next year. Wow. Time flies fast. As a parent, being able to understand your preschool developmental milestones can guide you in teaching them essential life skills that will help them grow and develop healthily.
One of the most challenging things to teach a preschooler is related to their social skills. At 4 to 5, they already start to:
- Practice their social skills, make friends,
- Make sense of symbols and ideas, making them good at understanding stories and pick up information,
- Play with words, and have fun making up stories,
- Expand their vocabulary and awareness of their environment, and
- Compare the rules they have at home to what they see outside.
- Show some moodiness, aggressive behavior, fears, and wanting to fight with brothers or sisters.
- Become eager to please parents.
With these developing social and language skills, you might feel that it is also the right time to teach your preschooler the skill to listen, to develop some self-control and to follow directions.
Here are some tips that are appropriate for preschoolers:
1.Encourage pleasant behavior and discourage unpleasant ones through GO, YELLOW, and RED signs. Just like any other skill, listening skills need to be practiced. For example, if your preschooler listened to you, encourage the behavior by giving praise, attention and encouragement. It’s a GO sign.
If they did not listen, give a warning of possible consequences. But avoid nagging. This is a YELLOW sign.
If they did not listen, and did not listen to the warning too, give a negative consequence. This is the RED sign, After the consequence, go back to GO.
2. Be consistent with your chosen approach. Skill is learned through consistency and predictability. Be a parent whom a child can expect to keep their word. The more you become consistent, the better they are at making decisions that give them their expected results.
3. What are the other creative ways to teach a preschooler to listen to you? Be creative. Since they are just testing out the waters so to speak, and they are learning about words and their possible benefits and consequences, you can make it fun to learn.
Give them a warning. For example, you can say, “You have 5 more minutes to play outside, and after that it is time to get inside.” Preschoolers may have now learned to tell time and may enjoy the use of a timer!
Make your song about listening together. Take the tune of a song they really know about and change the words so that the song will be about listening and obeying their parents. It will not only be enjoyable, but also be a teaching moment.
4. Requesting through FIRST/ AND THEN. When your preschooler wants to do something now, but you need them to do something first, you can accommodate them by saying, “First, (your request), and then (their request). This allows them to still feel in control and independent, and it teaches them to receive directions from you.
5. Make a calendar and schedule. Preschoolers can thrive in routine. Create a schedule and design or draw on it together with your preschool. Set the important activities you need them to do while leaving plenty of time for play, so they know what to expect day to day.
Last but not the least, staying calm and making your requests appropriate to their age and development, will give you and your preschooler a positive experience in teaching crucial social and life skills like listening, developing some self-control and following directions.
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