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How to Deal With The Different Types Of Liars While Dating?
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Dishonesty. It is probably one of the biggest deal breakers in any romantic relationship. Even more so, it is considered a red flag when getting to know someone in the dating phase of a relationship.
But since two people dating are only getting to know one another at this point, how do you know that you are being lied to or you are getting the authentic side of the individual?
Well, it is particularly an important skill for you to be familiar with the different types of liars.
What is lying?
Over time, it seems that the debate of what lying is and “how bad” lying is has become a lasting issue.
What makes it difficult for many to decide if lying is an appropriate behavior or not is the involvement of our intentions for lying and our expectations.
This leads us to differentiate the types of lies, hoping that as the intention and expectations become clear to us, we can better deal with it when we are in a situation involving lies.
The motivations for lying
There are several common reasons why people lie.
- Fear or discomfort. People who lie out of fear want to avoid the unpleasant and difficult moments or consequences of their acts.
- Desire for control. Other people lie because they want to feel the powerful feeling of being able to manipulate situations or other people.
- Habit. Interestingly, some people lie because it has been part of their system to appear correct.
Dealing with liars in the romantic setting
Have you felt that something is not right in the person you are dating? Something is not adding up, and you cannot seem to put your finger into what is wrong.
You get along well; your chemistry is great, but what gives?
Then you finally find out that the person has been lying to you all along, about something crucial in your relationship. This is a heart-wrenching and challenging situation to be in.
Type 1 liar.
This first type of liar is one who lies because they feel shame, fear of facing the situation and other fears.
When you finally get to the bottom of the issue, it turns out that these people actually desire to be out with their secrets, and they also recognize that the truth is better off said. However, they find that their fears are more powerful, so they tend to choose to lie.
Type 2 liar.
Type 2 liars operate on deception and wanting to achieve things that benefit them solely. They love themselves too much to care for what other people experience because of their deception.
How to deal with these types of liars
- The first crucial step in your decision-making is to find out what type of liar you are dealing with and dating. This will help you move to your next decision.
- Next, you can ask yourself if you are ready to take the risk and continue seeing that person. Are you ready to work with them in possibly resolving their issue about lying? Because this takes a lot of work, effort and care, it is important for you to take all things into consideration- your readiness, your energy available, and how much you care for that person.
- Lastly, remember that people can change, if they want to. If you can get to the point of agreeing with them about making a change, then maybe the relationship is worth the shot.
It is extra challenging in a budding relationship to be dealing with lies, but when you have the opportunity to get to know the root of the issue, you can make better decisions. Remember that whatever you decide, you consider your well-being while entering and sustaining a romantic relationship.
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