What hobbies and interests make someone more appealing as a romantic partner?

Attraction. Is it a matter of the heart or a matter of the brain? The science behind romance turns out to be masterminded by the brain! 

So when you stammer talking to that person, or your palms sweat, or you tend to say something stupid when trying to have a conversation with them- are these signs that the brain is saying “I am attracted to you”? 

When it comes to romance, there are three categories that our brain, then our body, experiences: 

• Lust. The predominant hormones that get released in this stage are testosterone and estrogen. These hormones increase one’s sexual drive in both men and women. 

• Attraction. In the attraction category, our body reacts to dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin. This is considered the most exciting and fulfilling part of a new relationship because attraction impacts the areas of our brain’s reward system. 

• Attachment. The deeper the connection becomes when oxytocin and vasopressin are in action. 

What are signs that you are attracted to someone? 

You feel energetic and happy. Sometimes you can’t sleep well thinking of them. Norepinephrine, a principal hormone during our fight or flight response, keeps you focused on the apple of your eye. 

Serotonin is the one that seems to bridge the attraction phase to a more long-term phase of love, the attachment. When our brain releases serotonin during the attraction phase, there is a sense of happiness and balance, calmness and peace. 

What can we do to increase attraction and make us a more appealing partner? 

Although we have been talking about love and romance as chemical reactions that happen in the brain, the way love presents itself is an individual experience. 

There are other factors at play such as our individual history, culture, expectations, and the society we live in. 

Assuming that you and the other person are already getting to know one another,  spending some time doing activities, and getting more involved with one another’s passions and hobbies, you might find that some of their interests and passions increase how attracted you are to them. 

• Someone who is interested in learning is attractive. Not being specific to a hobby or activity, but this characteristic in a romantic partner is attractive because it is a signal that this person either finds new experiences to learn from for fun or to grow their education. 

• Cooking is a highly attractive skill to have. Aside from being a very useful everyday skill, cooking and preparing food for someone you like certainly enhances bonding. If the food is healthy and delicious to boot, it is a relationship game changer! 

• Dedication to a passion adds plus points to attraction. Regardless whether their chosen hobby or activity is also something you are passionate about, I think there is something attractive in a person who dedicates time and soul to explore and do more of what makes them happy. 

On another note, I think that being able to respect and show support to a partner in their passion is also quite attractive! 

• A person who cares for others, especially those who cannot give anything in return has a heart that is kind and compassionate.
• More specific hobbies that many find attractive are fitness, reading, music, and going on adventures. 

You may notice that the list is a combination of hobbies themselves and others that show more of someone’s personality. Because in the end, the hobbies and activities themselves may stop, get replaced by another interest, but personality shines. Personality and their traits as a human will influence how compatible you are with each other and tell if your relationship proceeds to the next level or fizzles out. 

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